1937 ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPT DIARY HANDWRITTEN BY A FRUSTRATED AND DEPRESSED TEENAGE GIRL, DISCOVERING HER SEXUALITY AS SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER FEMALE TEACHER, AND ACTS OUT IN STRANGE AND UNPREDICTABLE WAYS

On offer is a unique and very interesting diary, that of a young, depressed teenage girl from New Hampshire. The diary paints a tortured picture of the young woman, who is a lesbian in a time long before it was even remotely socially acceptable. She speaks often of her secret crush and love for a woman named Irene who gives her piano lessons. The crush does not manifest itself in a healthy way, as evidenced by one moment in which the author tacks a dead robin to the headboard of the woman she secretly desires. She also gets quite nervous that her secret love for Irene may become known by Irene and she dreads this possibility. At one point Irene becomes "distant" and she is in agony over it. There is evidence that this young woman is also troubled in other ways. In one scene, she describes in full, morose detail the corpse of her Nana in the casket of the funeral home. Though these could be chalked up to just a turbulent youth, as she seems to have almost constant trouble with her mother, and she does not hide the resentment she feels towards her father. She is often critical of others in many instances in the diary, calling people harsh names and also not having much compassion towards her Nana as she was dying. Even though she has some disturbing tendencies, the author is also like a normal young woman in many ways. She takes piano less and likes classical music, she goes to Guild meetings and speaks of flunking an exam in school, she takes care of a baby named ‘David,’ she hikes the rugged mountains of New Hampshire, she likes thunderstorms and sleeping outside, she speaks of the people she likes in happy tones, she makes dresses for herself and like baking. These seem to exist side-by-side with the version of the author as tortured, as depressed and anguished and ‘weepy’. The young girl unfortunately goes nameless throughout the book, but she does speak of an uncle on her father’s side as the ‘2nd Goodwin brother,’ so it can be assumed she has the same last name. There are 106 pages of writing in this book, which is approximately 380 pages in length. The diary measures 3 5/8" x 6 1/8. The covers and spine are still in very good condition, aesthetically and structurally. The pages within show little sign of any wear or discoloration and the handwriting is easily readable and legible throughout, in a variety of colors of ink and pencil. Some fading has occurred with some of the colored inks, but the passages are few and far between and can still be read under direct light. OVERALL: G+. Text: “July 16, 1937. I went up to camp. I can’t stand it. I must go. I can’t go. What shall I do. Guess I’ll pray about it. I want to go so bad it hurts. Can’t write anymore. I can’t see.”; “August 10. Irene got me a new music book. That’s the secret. It’s loads of fun. I wrote to mom telling her I’d rather stay down here. Me and Irene went to the movies. Viola McNiel and her mother came down to see Irene. It has rained all evening and I’m blue and lonesome for I don’t know what. I think she loves me a little. I hope so.”; “August 21. I have my packing all done. I guess Mom won’t be down since it is raining. I hope I’ll hear from her. I had a less this P.M. that was dreadful. Irene and I played a few duets. It’s fun for me I don’t know about her. I climbed the hill and thought today. I’ve been pretty mean to Irene I guess. I wish I hadn’t.”; “August 26. I cried a lot today. I took my bed out on the grass last and got severely reprimanded for it. It was lovely to see and look up at the stars. It got rather dewy in the morning. I went to a ball game with George. Nan drives me crazy with her incessant sniveling and moaning. I must ask for patience, courage and pity.”; “September 23. Nan died this morning at 10:30 o’clock. Poisoning of the bladder. About supper time, Mary called and asked me when I was going up to R. that was the first I heard about it...I tried to call Irene but I couldn't get her. Get to be up early tomorrow so will go to sleep.”; “September 24. This morning I went in. Nan looks quite a bit younger .I don’t think she looks natural at all. Her mouth is compressed into a straight line and her hair falls back straight from her forehead...I’m so deathly afraid she didn’t prepare to die I don’t know what to do. If praying helps I’ve done my best. But I’m not sure. There were so many many flowers...After we got back from the Cemetery we all went to Lichen's camp at the lake. It was so cool and sweet and restful that I would have liked to stay. The lake has gone down so that one can drive on the beach up front of the cottage.”; Manuscript; 8vo - over 7¾" - 9¾" tall; KEYWORDS: HISTORY OF, GOODWIN FAMILY, NEW HAMPSHIRE, PRE WORLD WAR TWO ERA, LESBIAN HISTORY, LGBTQ, QUEER HISTORY, OBSESSION, SAPPHIC LOVE, WOMEN WHO LOVE WOMEN, GENDER STUDIES, WOMEN'S STUDIES, DISCOVERY OF SEXUALITY, LESBIAN LOVE, DISTURBED TEENAGER, ANGST, YOUTH IN REVOLT, NEW HAMPSHIRE, LACONIA, MANCHESTER, TILTON, CONCORD, MOUNT PERCIVAL, TEENAGERS, ACTING OUT, DEPRESSION, TEEN ANGST, GROWING PAINS, AMERICANA, HANDWRITTEN, MANUSCRIPT, DOCUMENT, LETTER, AUTOGRAPH, WRITER, HAND WRITTEN, DOCUMENTS, SIGNED, LETTERS, MANUSCRIPTS, HISTORICAL, HOLOGRAPH, KEEPSAKE WRITERS, AUTOGRAPHS, PERSONAL, MEMOIR, MEMORIAL, ARCHIVE, DIARY, DIARIES, JOURNAL, LOG, ANTIQUITÉ, CONTRAT, VÉLIN, DOCUMENT, MANUSCRIT, PAPIER ANTIKE, BRIEF, PERGAMENT, DOKUMENT, MANUSKRIPT, PAPIER OGGETTO D'ANTIQUARIATO, ATTO, VELINA, DOCUMENTO, MANUSCRITTO, CARTA ANTIGÜEDAD, HECHO, VITELA, DOCUMENTO, MANUSCRITO, PAPEL