2002 ORIGINAL HANDWRITTEN JOURNAL OF AN ANGRY, PASSIONATE MAN RAILING AGAINST HIS 1ST WIFE, HIS FAILED RELATIONSHIPS, AND HIS MISERABLE LIFE IN LONG DIARY ENTRIES AND ORIGINAL POETRY

On offer is a unique, one-of-a-kind and often quite bizarre handwritten journal and diary from a man going through a difficult and intense time in his life. The writing is interesting and occasionally quite strange, often going back and forth between straightforward thoughts and poetic expressions and passages. What is most evident from the beginning is that the author is going through a very difficult divorce. Here in this book is where he puts all his deepest and most intimate thoughts about his life, his failed relationship and his child. The journal begins with an original poem by the author, and then goes into a 16-page description of the breakdown and dissolution of his relationships and his whole life. “I think the only thing that kept me going was her. Life, on my side, had just about hit rock bottom. Newly divorced and the mental skid was on - I had packed one small bag, walked out the door and didn't look back til it was too late.... She was everything that woman I'd left behind wasn't. Full of energy, a lust for life, sexy as the sun and beautiful. She lit up something in me I didn't even know existed...” He writes living in a warehouse with no heat in Los Angeles, California. He never explicitly says it, but it seems he’s a carpenter, mentioning woodworking and house work a few time. It’s obvious from the writing that he’s miserable. He moves up to Seattle with the light of his life, his girlfriend Malea. It doesn’t work out well for his girlfriend: “Wasn't all that great for Malea, however, as my sister looked at her as the "other woman" - the one who had broke up my marriage, stolen her beloved sister-in-laws husband and apparently had done so without conscience.” At the end of the 16 pages, he writes: “I stayed with Malea - she was so beautiful. I think that was the beginning of the end.” The next page contains another original poem. After the poem comes a letter: “Dear Malea, it has been a long time since I have seen you - driving away from that airstrip in New Orleans...I have tried to remember you as a beautiful person. You know that from the last conversation we had on the phone. That's hard to do now. You told Adam that I was psychologically and/or verbally abusive to you and you felt he had taken my "side" in our break-up...” It seems she accused him of abusing her, physically and emotionally. By the tone of his writing, it might not be far from the truth: “You said that I treated you poorly - ‘not very well’ - your words. I tried. You could never see that. You didn't have a place to live, I gave you what I had. You had no one to help you move - your friends? Where were they? You always put on your bright and shiny face for them, never let them see that depression, the fear and anger in you. Then you tell them that I was abusive. Fuck you. Your conscience will follow you all the days of your life no matter how you try to convince yourself otherwise. Fuck your therapist. That stupid bitch wouldn't counsel us, yet felt she could counsel you on..." More poems follow, as well as short dated entries that focus on the other side of his life, apart from his breakup. He comments on his work and, in November, 2002, on George W. Bush as president and the war in Iraq. There are also his personal goals: “relationship with Heather [first wife] and Finnley [his child]. Spiritual growth - relating the presence of the Lord to life.” The rest of the pages are devoted to sketches of carpentry related work, and a few torn pages used for estimates, drawings, materials etc... It appears the author used the book as his diary and also for a bit of his work. The combination is very interesting and unique. The book is approximately 50 pages in length. Almost all the pages have writing in them. About 30 or so of those pages are his journal and thoughts and the rest are the pages devoted to his work as a carpenter. The book is a ring binder in good condition. The covers show aesthetic wear, especially on the edges, but nothing structurally. All the pages are still attached to the rings. There is some wear on the beginning and end pages, but all else still look good. The handwriting is easy to read, in a combination of pencil and blue and black ink. The pencil is slightly faded, but can still be easily read. The book is 9” x 12” inches in size. OVERALL: VG; Manuscript; 4to - over 9¾" - 12" tall; KEYWORDS: HISTORY OF, EARLY 2000S, LOS ANGELES, PASADENA, CALIFORNIA, SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA, GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENCY, MESSY DIVORCE, RUINED LOVE, CHEATING, PASSIONATE PROSE, MENTAL ABUSE, GENDER STUDIES, FEMINISM, EMOTIONAL ABUSE, PSYCH ORIGINAL POETRY, DRAMATIC LIFE, AMERICANA, HANDWRITTEN, MANUSCRIPT, DOCUMENT, LETTER, AUTOGRAPH, WRITER, HAND WRITTEN, DOCUMENTS, SIGNED, LETTERS, MANUSCRIPTS, HISTORICAL, HOLOGRAPH, KEEPSAKE WRITERS, AUTOGRAPHS, PERSONAL, MEMOIR, MEMORIAL, ARCHIVE, DIARY, DIARIES, JOURNAL, LOG, ANTIQUITÉ, CONTRAT, VÉLIN, DOCUMENT, MANUSCRIT, PAPIER ANTIKE, BRIEF, PERGAMENT, DOKUMENT, MANUSKRIPT, PAPIER OGGETTO D'ANTIQUARIATO, ATTO, VELINA, DOCUMENTO, MANUSCRITTO, CARTA ANTIGÜEDAD, HECHO, VITELA, DOCUMENTO, MANUSCRITO, PAPEL